ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
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This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
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So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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