JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize