you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
