he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You may now shotgun with the bride
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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