i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
