We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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