For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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