I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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