no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
