if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
All the doctor said was why
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
