So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Green mimosas i think yes
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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