You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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