Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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