She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
organizing the empties. That sober.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
