fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
