I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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