you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
