I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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