What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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