oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
