Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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