I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
