I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
