You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize