Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
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