We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
