Midget sex pt 2 tonight
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
