I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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