So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
are you so shy because you have an std?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
