break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
