i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
