we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize