Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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