Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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