I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize