Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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