I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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