Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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