In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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