i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
and she was petting her beer can
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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