I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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