You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
