I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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