I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
