put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
