he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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