ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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