Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
