well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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