I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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