Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize