btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
