i jhust puked up my retainher.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
