Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
