a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize