My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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