How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Randomize
